The article in the Guardian
about never having a girlfriend or boyfriend and you are in your 30s is probably more of a problem than people would care to admit. I am blogging about it because the comments were bizarre, to say the least, and then just plain unhelpful. There was someone I knew who was in exactly that predicament. She had been at school, uni, work and still there was no special someone. She had managed a couple of times to have one evening with someone and then that was that. Some of it was she was not a drinker and most people drink these days. She didn’t especialy like parties and just diverting herself with amusements. Her working hours were very long and she often had to work weekends. She went out with friends when she could. She went on holidays when she could. She tried to make things happen when she could. You just have to be with people and go on holidays and keep your family life going. She wasn’t gay but she got a lot of support and comfort from her gay friends. She did not put up barriers to outings and events even if she didn’t think she would much like them. In the end , it was one of her school friends on Facebook that broke the ice in relationships. She went to visit him in another state but he wasn’t that easy to get along with. She tried it again the following year and he let her down very badly and she was in a situation where she had to decide whether to stay interstate in an emotional mess or come home. She toughed it out. She made a point of doing nice things each day. In the meantime someone at work was texting her to help her stabilise . He was being a good friend. A great friend. He knew what it was like to be viciously let down by someone. Even though she had never thought much about him before, she realised this was a really fantastic person to have in her life. So she was in her 30s and now she had this really nice guy and they have been together ever since. You just don’t know. You just have to be places doing things. One of my Mum’s friends didn’t marry until he was 40. He just couldn’t find anyone and then he found his lovely wife and they had a great marriage. Same for my neighbours. They did not meet until he was 40 and she wasn’t that keen on him but had agreed to go out with him just once. They have been inseparable and my neighbour inherited the best family ever. Be there. Do things and be honest with people. Be yourself and make an effort to be a happy self who likes doing things.From my observation I can see this works.