Posted in age, ageing, ageing positively, anxiety, creating success, mental health, positive attitude, positive mindset, wellbeing

Carrie Fisher

For me, Carrie Fisher will always be the one who would front up with the tough stuff in life and normalise it. She always had the knack of being able to talk about difficult things but just say them so everyone would realise they are a part of life and living and need to be dealt with. She was a princess but not of the sugar plum, prissy sort. This interview covers a lot of ground in a short time and reveals how adept Carrie Fisher is in dealing with body image issues, female actor issues, growing up , being a working woman and …just talking about it. Just patting her dog and talking about it. She has had an impact on how women see themselves and she has enabled those conversations which have helped modern women redefine who they are and what they can do. She will be remembered for her social justice gems because she was so direct and straight forward in her approach.

Posted in abuse, anxiety, criticism, depression, healthy options, interpersonal relationships, mental health, parenting, positive attitude, positive psychology, positive self talk, positive thinking, resilience, Stress Busting, wellbeing

Managing a control freak

There is a fine line between dealing with and managing a control freak and being the victim of emotional abuse. Victim being the operative word. If you feel like a victim , you probably are and you need to get the help to deal with that frame of mind and set of behaviours. Easier said than done depending on the nature of the controlling behaviour. We all like to be in control. We want our coffee the way we want it. We want to be able to relax in the way we relax. We want to make phone calls the way we make them and do our washing the way we do it. We need to bring control freak back into common parlance so that we recognise unhealthy controlling behaviour in ourselves and then unhealthy controlling behaviour in others. It is really difficult when they play a key role in your life. uncommonhelp gives some really practical advice as to how to deal with control freaks. The best bit is that it is all doable so even if you find it hard to stand up for yourself you have a chance of being able to master these suggestions. Dr Judith Orloff analyses the situation better so that you can get some clarity. That’s important. Often you feel very confused. There is usually a reason that people become controllers. We shouldn’t minimise the behaviour by calling them micro managers or helicopter parents.  wikihow explains really well the difference between someone who has strong views and boundaries and one who is a controller. Sorting it out for yourself is how you manage it. If you are not able to do that , it is important to use trusted, successful people to get help and information.

Posted in abuse, anxiety, happiness, interpersonal relationships, positive self talk, stress, toxic people, workplace health

Emotional abuse

Emotional abuse is very difficult to identify and even more difficult to prove. It’s sly, underhanded, artful and calculated. It’s important to know it is happening to you and it is important to notice it might be happening to someone else. Emotional abusers often have their reasons. It that awful cycle of abuse where you have been abused and you become the abuser. Emotional abuse can occur in the home , at work, from society at large …people. Unless we are clear about what it is and how to manage it then victims will continue to suffer. It can have dire consequences. A person can be so robbed of themselves, their hopes and dreams until they are in despair and dysfunctional. The worst thing is they have nothing to show anyone. Just what they think and how they feel. It has to be stopped like any other form of abuse and knowledge is power. The image straightens it out in people’s head. It helps clarify what is going on. There are some excellent sites which identify emotional abuse behaviour and symptoms. It is something we can deal with if we get the awareness out there as we have done with so many other things. Healthy Place looks at the short and long term effects of emotional abuse.

Pinterest also has some good help.

Posted in anxiety, bullying, callum, social media, twiiter

Callum – MasterChef

#Callum became a trending top on Twitter Wednesday night after the great custard fiasco for all the wrong reasons.Callum is a competent contestant on MasterChef and has survived to the finals. It’s great he is still there because he is troubled with issues to do with anxiety. He breaks out in blotches and he becomes incredibly nervous. Most of the time he manages and still performs well as he did with his violet macaroons. He is bright, intelligent, takes things seriously and Jamie Oliver seemed to understand him well when Callum won the lesson with him. Callum absorbs information easily. In a way it is good that Callum is in the limelight because we need to seriously look at how we treat people with nerves. In a school situation  he’d be given consideration and would be tested according to his needs because his high levels of anxiety would be taken into account. He is in the perfect position to help others and help himself at the same time because he has come a long way inspite of having to manage a set of emotions which clearly become intolerable at times. Afterwards he articulates very well the issues and problems but these have not been addressed. The media has little understanding of and compassion for anxiety and social media even less.So, do we just stand by and let it happen? Do we try and support people like Callum? Do we continue to allow him to be lampooned and berated when he is not being stupid at all? he just hasn’t found a way yet of feeling secure under erratic and unpredictable conditions and yes, history repeats itself and he “cannot learn”. I thought we had highlighted mental health issues and I thought we had absorbed some ways of helping people who are highly anxious  or depressed. Those were the two areas I thought we had made progress in, but seems not. We can do better than this and maybe Callum can help us do it better.
Posted in anxiety, Children, Health, stress, wellbeing

Anxiety Disorder in Children

20% of children are experiencing anxiety disorders according to this article. That is a significant number. The research tends to suggest our lifestyle and living environment are contributing it. How to stop the world? How to slow ourselves down. it has to be affecting adults too. Now we have the treadmill going , what can we do to slow it down and stop it? It means cutting yourself away from the pack. It also means more and more people might do it if they see the benefit in you and your children. Children are reacting to change and are suffering sleep deprivation, but I’d say that is happening to adults too. We are all doing to much and trying to fit too much in. We have to change, it is doing us harm and if we don’t deal with it, it will deal with us.
Posted in anxiety, Beyond Blue, depression, Health, wellbeing

World Mental Health Day

We’ve got our information in from Beyond Blue and even though we are dealing better with mental health issues, particularly depression, we have quite a lot more awareness raising to do. People are better at having the conversations but there is some misunderstanding about depression and it treatments and whether depressed people should be in particular job positions. Then there is a whole lot of work to be done on anxiety, which is rife in this country and probably around the world because of our lifestyle and then all the issues associated with living in our culture. The daily worries, catastrophes, pain and destructiveness are getting to people. We have worked a lot out together and the internet has helped us. It is a matter of keeping this going.