Posted in abuse, be kind, bullying, happiness, mental cruelty, positive psychology, positive thinking, problem solving, resilience, self care

Emotional Abuse

emotional abuseImage: Focus Adolescent Information 

My last post on Emotional Abuse got a lot of traffic and reaction. I rest my case. We still need to be working on this aspect of abuse because it is the hardest one to manage in my opinion because the damage can’t necessarily be seen. It can be covert , underhanded and hidden abuse. In no way does that mean I think we should be less aware of or less active in dealing with other forms of abuse. No way. Unfortunately history keeps repeating itself, we don’t learn and we just keep allowing abuse to continue. It has to stop. I’d like to think we are the generation and century of human beings who can change this. We have the brains, the insight, the tools and connectivity. Since my last post emotional abuse has been better identified. That’s a big step in the right direction. People need to know what it is. They need to know it happens and they need to know what it looks and feels like.

cyber-bullying

Image: Education Experts 

The next step will be just as big but much harder. We need to work out ways of shutting it down and stopping it. We also need to understand why people do this to others. Joining together and bringing all our ideas to the table will help untangle a lot of this. All abuse needs to be out in the open no matter how hard that is to confront and deal with. It’s the first step. Allowing it to go on behind closed doors is no longer good enough. We need the research, the experts, the documentation. It doesn’t matter whether it’s cyber bullying, family emotional abuse, abuse within a personal relationship, at work , from an organisation looking at it clearly and then approaching it methodically is our only hope. Focus Adolescent Services identifies it very clearly and has some excellent links out to other related information.

Posted in acts of kindness, be kind, happiness, positive attitude, positive mindset, positive thinking, resilience, slow living

Acts of kindness generator

acts of kindnessMost people are kind. There are a few who are not but the vast majority of the human race is considerate and kind. You get busy , though or stressed or preoccupied and kindness just doesn’t flow as easily as when you are relaxed. Shari’s Berries blog has a random act of kindness generator which can be used in so many ways. You can click it and get a random . You can focus on just family or just work colleagues. You can also download the whole list of acts of kindness and you could customise it to suit your mood and how you want be. You could create challenges. They really make you feel good. I did one last year and some of it was actually hard but I learned so much and it was just a positive contribution to my life even though I was the one doing the acts of kindness. It works. It creates a well world and a well you.

Posted in be kind, motivation, positive attitude, positive images, positive mindset, self awareness

Project Smile

This is a short German film with a simple message which is developed thoughtfully. You need no German to understand it. It is developed without words and that is where the power of it lies. I got the film via Craig Maatta’s blogpost. He followed me on Twitter this morning. I looked him up , found his Facebook page and then the link to his blog. Within 5 minutes I was feeling a whole lot better. I have bookmarked the Craig Maatta blog because it is very positive and gives you practical ideas for making yourself and others feel better. Smiling is one of them!

Posted in be kind, loving kindness, positive self talk, positive thinking

Be kind to people…

It is not always easy to be kind to others or to think kindly of them. It’s harder when they have really done soemthing to hurt you or they have really hurt someone you care about. As you get older you learn to deal with nastiness and unpleasantness better. You can shrug a lot of it off or you can get it into perpective more quickly. Those who lash out or who do the most unthinkably hurtful things which create a major problem for the recipient of their horrible behaviour are often in a bad state of mind and at crisis point themselves. We always like to find the reasons. When you are at the receiving end of it you just have to learn to rise above it, recover your dignity and reassert yourself. You do that by being who you are and following the values you believe in. Challenging behaviour from others, which temporarily throws you into disarray, chaos, personal pain and immobility, requires the help of others- your network, the people who love you, the people you can trust. It’s good to believe you can always be kind to people but you should never let someone who does you harm get away with it. You can ignore it and remove them from your life. You can take some firm action to show them they cannot treat you like that. Sometimes you have to just deal with it however you can. The main thing is to do something so you are not disempowered.