Posted in abuse, anxiety, criticism, depression, healthy options, interpersonal relationships, mental health, parenting, positive attitude, positive psychology, positive self talk, positive thinking, resilience, Stress Busting, wellbeing

Managing a control freak

There is a fine line between dealing with and managing a control freak and being the victim of emotional abuse. Victim being the operative word. If you feel like a victim , you probably are and you need to get the help to deal with that frame of mind and set of behaviours. Easier said than done depending on the nature of the controlling behaviour. We all like to be in control. We want our coffee the way we want it. We want to be able to relax in the way we relax. We want to make phone calls the way we make them and do our washing the way we do it. We need to bring control freak back into common parlance so that we recognise unhealthy controlling behaviour in ourselves and then unhealthy controlling behaviour in others. It is really difficult when they play a key role in your life. uncommonhelp gives some really practical advice as to how to deal with control freaks. The best bit is that it is all doable so even if you find it hard to stand up for yourself you have a chance of being able to master these suggestions. Dr Judith Orloff analyses the situation better so that you can get some clarity. That’s important. Often you feel very confused. There is usually a reason that people become controllers. We shouldn’t minimise the behaviour by calling them micro managers or helicopter parents.  wikihow explains really well the difference between someone who has strong views and boundaries and one who is a controller. Sorting it out for yourself is how you manage it. If you are not able to do that , it is important to use trusted, successful people to get help and information.

Posted in criticism, happiness, positive thinking, values

Do what you want

The world is full of people who want to hjack your life for their own purposes or make you feel inadequate because you are not meeting their needs and doing what they want. Had to laugh when I saw on the Net somewhere that you shouldn’t run a blog if you are not going to post regularly. I run 4 blogs and have run two others. Some blogs you do post to regularly and then there is a blog like this where I post to frequently but there will be a lull and even a gap in my posting. This blog is about wellbeing and I find my personal changes come in waves as does new information. I don’t really feel the need to go over old ground and I don’t want to force the posts. I like this blog. It has kept me very aware of health and wellbeing issues and trends. I keep it for my own information but there are times when my posts serve others too and I am pleased about that. So the world is always going to be full of critics. Somehow you just have to adopt the pigeon approach and peck on regardless of what is going on around you. Determine your own destiny and validate your own decisions! As long as you are not harming or hurting others then I think being a beacon in your own life is the best way to be.