Posted in abuse, be kind, bullying, happiness, mental cruelty, positive psychology, positive thinking, problem solving, resilience, self care

Emotional Abuse

emotional abuseImage: Focus Adolescent Information 

My last post on Emotional Abuse got a lot of traffic and reaction. I rest my case. We still need to be working on this aspect of abuse because it is the hardest one to manage in my opinion because the damage can’t necessarily be seen. It can be covert , underhanded and hidden abuse. In no way does that mean I think we should be less aware of or less active in dealing with other forms of abuse. No way. Unfortunately history keeps repeating itself, we don’t learn and we just keep allowing abuse to continue. It has to stop. I’d like to think we are the generation and century of human beings who can change this. We have the brains, the insight, the tools and connectivity. Since my last post emotional abuse has been better identified. That’s a big step in the right direction. People need to know what it is. They need to know it happens and they need to know what it looks and feels like.


Image: Education Experts 

The next step will be just as big but much harder. We need to work out ways of shutting it down and stopping it. We also need to understand why people do this to others. Joining together and bringing all our ideas to the table will help untangle a lot of this. All abuse needs to be out in the open no matter how hard that is to confront and deal with. It’s the first step. Allowing it to go on behind closed doors is no longer good enough. We need the research, the experts, the documentation. It doesn’t matter whether it’s cyber bullying, family emotional abuse, abuse within a personal relationship, at work , from an organisation looking at it clearly and then approaching it methodically is our only hope. Focus Adolescent Services identifies it very clearly and has some excellent links out to other related information.

Posted in abuse, bullying, mental cruelty, stalking

Emotional Abuse

It has always been difficult to deal with emotional abuse and to get others to deal with it. We have come a long way with physical abuse, neglect and sexual abuse. We have confronted them, brought them into the spotlight and found ways of dealing with them even though we feel totally inadequate at times. Abuse is not easy to deal with. It is part of the abuse cycle that those being abused do not want to confront or “betray” the abusers. Shame is rampant and holds us back. So, for a long time now we have been dealing with what used to be called mental cruelty. It has raised its ugly head on the internet as cyberbullying. Even then there is always the belief that somehow the victim asked for it or deserved it. Somehow we feel powerless. Dealing with abuse means you have to understand the motivations of the perpertrator, because often they have been abused in the same way. Then you have to look at ways of allowing peole to deal with it and one of our best ways is to get it out into the open. Let people talk about it. Then we have to find ways of stopping it. Always we shall feel like we are not doing very well, but it is not a reason to give up trying. Two articles have come out recently which give heart. France has brought in laws to outlaw psychological violence and even though the article does not say much, it at least alerts us to the fact that they are taking action on emotional abuse and we can follow it up. Australia is trying to deal with the derogatory comments which come up on Facebook under their stalking laws. There are more of us than there are of them. There are more good people and we need to work together to keep people safe and stable. Our thinking approach will only help.