There is a fine line between dealing with and managing a control freak and being the victim of emotional abuse. Victim being the operative word. If you feel like a victim , you probably are and you need to get the help to deal with that frame of mind and set of behaviours. Easier said than done depending on the nature of the controlling behaviour. We all like to be in control. We want our coffee the way we want it. We want to be able to relax in the way we relax. We want to make phone calls the way we make them and do our washing the way we do it. We need to bring control freak back into common parlance so that we recognise unhealthy controlling behaviour in ourselves and then unhealthy controlling behaviour in others. It is really difficult when they play a key role in your life. uncommonhelp gives some really practical advice as to how to deal with control freaks. The best bit is that it is all doable so even if you find it hard to stand up for yourself you have a chance of being able to master these suggestions. Dr Judith Orloff analyses the situation better so that you can get some clarity. That’s important. Often you feel very confused. There is usually a reason that people become controllers. We shouldn’t minimise the behaviour by calling them micro managers or helicopter parents. wikihow explains really well the difference between someone who has strong views and boundaries and one who is a controller. Sorting it out for yourself is how you manage it. If you are not able to do that , it is important to use trusted, successful people to get help and information.
That was bizarre. The woman is in a completely different age group to me, she is at a different stage in life and yet, her video looked like my life at the moment. I am watching the ocean, walking on the beach, enjoying my yarn arts, reading , doing yoga and walking in nature. I really am taking the time to take the time! She articulates well what slow living is about and why you need it. We do glorify doing and it’s as though life has no meaning if you don’t have this grand todo list of where you have been and what you are doing. I am lucky I have a dog who really loves walking. That may sound odd but my other dogs preferred playing , running around, fetch, all of that. This dog is in my life now and she just loves walking. She started me off on this slow path. I was thinking I needed to reclaim my life. I have always had too much to do, have supported others, done so many things and worked really hard. I have achieved a lot and it has defined me but all the time the things which were important to me were being neglected. I did some sewing, some knitting, some crochet, some cross stitch but now I have time to really think things out and to really involve myself in my projects. When you are driven like you are in life then you pump a lot of adrenalin and it eventually impacts on your health. You don’t sleep properly, you don’t exercise properly and even if you think you are eating well, once you slow down you realise you were limited in your choices because of time and energy. I have had a chance to meet people, talk more, really notice the clouds. In many ways it is as I grew up. We often had times just wandering or sitting and looking or sitting and chatting. Like the woman in this video I love my technology. It can be very inspiring but it is also a great way to produce and share ideas and keep connected with people in a really good way. I have found it odd that after years of being uber busy I now have tome to think properly and notice. I am doing a journal about slow living. It is already set up and I follow the pattern. The balance she talks of is what is missing. If you work then there is so much to do there is no balance. Over the years the amount of things expected has increased. Profit, cost cutting, profit, streamlining have all meant good people are pushed too hard. They are reliable. They are there , and because they are there, they are overworked. The only solution is to work less and want less. When she talked of decluttering it was an indication we are driven to collect things in one way or another. To be slow, you need to simplify your life and be genuinely content with less.
There are times when Bill Gates is not the most popular man on the planet. Put those prejudices aside, if you have them, and read this presentation by Sompong Yus . There is some really solid and thought provoking advice here to help you manage whatever it is you are trying to manage. The approaches are very sound.